We're focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it's not good enough to get you fat. We're trying to get fat.

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Personally I think that grammar is a way to attain beauty.

I’m telling you that responsibly applying time strategy and proactively leveraging your calendar is the dumb ol’ secret to seeing your dreams come true.

What pillow can one have like a good conscience?

I'm not a lady, I'm a witch.

I will put up with any mockery rather than pretend that I am satisfied when I am hungry.

It is great to be free physically, but it is greater to be free mentally.

All interpretation, all psychology, all attempts to make things comprehensible, require the medium of theories, mythologies, and lies.

No misfortune is worse than underestimating the enemy. Underestimating the enemy, I risk losing my treasure.

You don't need another person, place or thing to make you whole. God already did that. Your job is to know it.

Basketball is a business. Pure and simple. If you want to have fun, go to the YMCA.