We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Faeries are real. Magic is real. My tendency to greet dangerous situations by plunging in headfirst and seeing how long it takes to get myself covered head to toe in blood is also real.

I'd love to promise a lifetime to you. I just don't have one to give.

One cannot simply decide to write apolitical poetry, in the way one decides to drink lemonade instead of tea, it's far more subliminal than that.

...while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he becomes a mathematical certainty.

To be overcome by the fragrance of flowers is a delectable form of defeat.

I'm definitely an American, because I grew up here. But I've lived very happily in Britain.

You have to look at things that happened in your life and ask why. It comes around.

I am past scorching; not easily can’st thou scorch a scar.

Misunderstanding women is a clear sign of scant virility.

There is no better way of industrializing the villages of India than the spinning wheel.