We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Most people, faced with two difficult choices, prefer not to choose at all.

I like John McCain, or he seems like a cool guy in a lot of ways. I don't agree with a lot of his policies, but he still seems like a cool guy.

I've always been interested in arrival, and coming to a space, and even to looking back at where you were.

All the lessons are in nature. You look at the way rocks are formed - the wind and the water hitting them, shaping them, making them what they are. Things take time, you know?

The quarrels of friends are the opportunities of foes.

How is there going to be Peace when there is no Justice?

Baby you're my everything, you're all I ever wanted, we can do it real big, bigger than you've ever done it.

We have the possibility of being far removed from what we are, of beginning to taste it and feel it. That is direct knowledge. That is truth. Anything else is mere words.

Women are the field that produces our nation. And if you can't protect your women, you can't protect your nation.

I'm trying to escape by forming my own kind of world. Basically, I'm trying to encourage others to do the same.