We're philosophers. We think, therefore we am.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

People are not a threat, wrong ideas are.

Life’s journey on earth is the only sacred travel.

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

Disappointment forever lurked just beyond the edges of her joy, ready to spring like a ravenous cougar.

I'm still a recluse. I still hate everyone. I'm still a misanthrope.

I don't want to be remembered as a good goalkeeper. I want to be remembered as a great person.

Our office acts like a kind of educational establishment and we are very careful who we educate.

I'm sure that a French production of this [Maigret series] would be different. For better or worse, who's to say, but probably not very good for 8 o'clock on ITV.

Big fires flare up in a wind, but little ones are blown out unless they are carried in under cover.

I'm a Gatorade athlete because dance is being recognized as a sport now. It always should have been, but now it is. It's very exciting.