We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Soon, " he said in his letter. They said "soon" to each other often, and "soon" gave their plan the weight of something real.

Kon’s films present a fractured, multifaceted world in which everyone has their own different reality.

How can you love me if you dont know me? I stink really bad.

At a certain age it just became apparent to me that this was probably the work that I would have to do.

The soul of our music, The Monkees' music, lies somewhere inbetween the 1 1/2 , the 2 1/2, the 3 3/4 and th giant C-major chord on the piano!

The real advantage for me is that I have the opportunity to lead worship every Sunday.

Greatness is not always largeness.

Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed to become to fulfill his destiny.

I think that the first part of the art is making the art, but when art really becomes art is when it belongs to somebody else.

Skill in writing frees you to write what you want to write. It may also show you what you want to write. Craft enables art.