We schoolmasters must temper discretion with deceit.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

I should like to bury something precious in every place where I've been happy and then, when I'm old and ugly and miserable, I could come back and dig it up and remember.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die.

I have lived carefully, sheltered myself from the cold winds, eaten moderately of what was in season, drunk fine claret, slept in my own sheets; I shall live long.

The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up.

Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth.

He was gifted with the sly, sharp instinct for self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich.

Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently?

Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.

Wine is a bride who brings a great dowry to the man who woos her persistently and gracefully.

If you truly believe in something, that is, if you care enough about it to not just dream about it, but to do something about it, your belief will bring it to you.

Kindness is my weapon of choice. My second is a Semmian da

Familiarity increases carnality.

A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either

Not to be mean about it, but some great rock and rollers, like Bo Diddley and Chuck Berry, are pretty one-dimensional.

My things really are written with an appalling lack of practicality!

think of it this way," he said "It took nine months to get you born, so doesn't it figure it would take nine months to get you dead?

All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive - it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don't take any chances. It just isn't worth it.

Fiction writing, and the reading of it, and book buying, have always been the activities of a tiny minority of people, even in the most-literate societies.

I live with the understanding that truth is bigger than any religion and the world is God's and everything in it.