We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

There is always a mountain ahead, that must be conquered.

While I recognize the necessity for a basis of observed reality... true art lies in a reality that is felt.

Rich in saving common-sense, And, as the greatest only are, In his simplicity sublime.

Take risks. Take chances. Don't be afraid. You gotta go into life brave.

The one predominant duty is to find one's work and do it.

It is one thing to teach a dynamic Oriental philosophy and religious code; it is quite another to put such a discipline to the test by successfully living it in the face of ridicule.

Women in Hollywood are tiny, but women in soap operas are the tiniest people alive!

There are tough times and mountains to climb, but you've got to go for it.

Do you know what my favorite renewable fuel is? An ecosystem for innovation.

Love is dope, not chicken soup.