We toast the Lisp programmer who pens his thoughts within nests of parentheses.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

Adapting old programs to fit new machines usually means adapting new machines to behave like old ones.

Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it.

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop.

It is better to have 100 functions operate on one data structure than to have 10 functions operate on 10 data structures.

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm.

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.

Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.

If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

Tell me something only you know and make a new friend.

The light teaches you to convert life into a festive promenade.

One of the symptoms of having a broken-heart is the fact that even ghosts will give up on the hope of scaring you as you have already lived through your worst fear.

There isn't doubt about that, everyone dies.

Why does getting ahead always have to involve getting up early?

Forget ideas, Mr. Author. What kind of pen do you use?

That said, let me add that Joan and I never want him to be a child actor. We both feel that it takes away their childhood and puts untold pressure on children.

Metaphors get under your skin by ghosting right past the logical mind.

I do know that there are down-ballot people who have run on the Green Party, and some have been successful.