We've all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

The dead person is not truly dead until the last person who rememebers them dies.

One must always be prepared to switch sides with justice, that fugitive of the winning camp.

I rather fight for light then to go blind in night.

I was a dog in a past life. Really. I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take. Like, Hey, I know him.

The budget is tight, and that is exactly where we want it to be and where we need it to be.

Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.

Conquering the world with words, leading the children like herds.

Good music is good no matter what kind of music it is.

I've always loved the idea of changing myself, wearing costumes and disguises. It takes you back to being a kid, to dressing up.