We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

Every obstacle is an opportunity to make success a reality

I was stirred only like a leaf in the wind, that is all. . .

My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.

I was not rescued by a prince; I was the administrator of my own rescue.

Any theory is better than no theory.

...those who think that faith is superior to reason, and try to reason me into thinking that way; why don't they faith me into it?

I think if there's anything that's important today, it's credibility with the voter, because the voter is tired of being sold a bill of goods.

I've been putting together the story with Rob and putting all the details of it together and looking at all the various designs they have for the toys and stuff, it's pretty exciting.

Hi. I'm Rachel Trachtenburg. I'm the daughter and the drummer for the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players.

In order to be effective truth must penetrate like an arrow - and that is likely to hurt.