We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

Surrender and sacrifice sets you up for success with God.

Besides, unrequited love is one of those things that all teen-agers have to go through, right?

Love is always a miracle, everywhere, every time. But for us, it's a little different. I don't want to say it's more miraculous, ...It is though.

Old-fashioned ways which no longer apply to changed conditions are a snare in which the feet of women have always become readily entangled.

A man doesn't save a century, or a civilization, but a militant party wedded to a principle can.

I love that I have a job that I love.

I cannot go to sleep with dishes in the sink.

Absolutely. I am a father, and I know best. If there's any question, just ask me.

Be the best Guardian you can be. Save lots of people. And every time you save someone, think of me.” -Maddy