We was going to get you a birthday cake, but we figured you'd drop it.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.

Gettin' good players is easy. Gettin' 'em to play together is the hard part.

The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.

See that fella over there? He's 20 years old. In 10 years, he's got a chance to be a star. Now that fella over there, he's 20 years old, too. In 10 years he's got a chance to be 30.

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

He'd (Yogi Berra) fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain.

We have may teachers, animal, vegetable and mineral

We can revolutionize the attitude of inner city brown and black kids to learning. We need a civil rights movement within the African-American community.

A heathen philosopher once asked a Christian, 'Where is God'? The Christian answered, 'Let me first ask you, Where is He not?'

If some gang were threatening your family, you'd go looking for someone butch to help, right? Any maybe if your mother were sick or something, you'd find someone a bit more fey.

Don't be afraid to fail. Experience is just mistakes you don't make anymore.

The stars are the land-marks of the universe.

I believe that artists should be paid for their creativity. There's no other industry where people can come in and take what you create for free and give it away for free and that's acceptable.

Children should be allowed to be children and not be sold.

Pleasure puts you to sleep and pain wakes you up. If you don't want to suffer, don't go to sleep.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.