We wish genius and morality where affectionate companions, but it is a fact that they are often bitter enemies. They don't necessarily coalesce any more than oil and water do.

I am not a politician, and my other habits are good, also.

Trouble will come soon enough, and when he does come receive him as pleasantly as possible. The more amiably you greet him, the sooner he will go away.

The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.

Let's have the Union restored as it was, if we can; but if we can't, I'm in favor of the Union as it wasn't.

It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.

I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.

I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.

A writer who can't write in a grammerly manner better shut up shop.

One of the principal features of my entertainment is that it contains so many things that don't have anything to do with it.

Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith!

Activism begins with you, Democracy begins with you, get out there, get active! Tag, you're it

Innovation becomes possible only if people can step out of their comfort zone.

The family story tells, and it was told true, of my great-grandfather who begat eight genius children and bought twelve almost new grand pianos. He left a considerable estate when he died.

This vision is within our grasp.

But the present life should never be hated, except insofar as it subjects us to sin, although even that hatred should not properly be applied to life itself.

First of all, I'm pretty private about my personal life.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

A trip to the hospital is always a descent into the macabre. I have never trusted a place with shiny floors.

If there's one thing I discovered since I came back from hiatus, it's that you can't go backwards.

War on the cheap is always a rotten policy.