We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

It is a very natural human trait to destroy that which frightens us.

Poetry is very crafted. You can't have too many words. It needs compression. It has to be spare, just the right number of words.

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing.

Newt Gingrich called it [Donald] Trump's biggest mistake since he won the election, these crazy accusations about voter fraud.

And how is clarity to be achieved? Mainly by taking trouble and by writing to serve people rather than to impress them.

...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway.

I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players.

I understand the Second Amendment. I support it. People have the right to bear arms.

Don't sit and wait - For the world on a plate - (It's not a stroke of luck or chance) - Just draw a bead on that sucker, and drive!