Well, I don't remember all the names of all the clubs we went to

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Physical features count little unless they are illumined from within.

I eat everything I want on Christmas day. I really don't watch what I eat. It's not like you have #‎ Christmas every day!

When you have spent too much time with something, you may lose sight of what's marvelous about it.

A man's character never changes radically from youth to old age. What happens is that circumstances bring out characteristics which have not been obvious to the superficial observer.

Know from the bounteous heaven all riches flow.

I just have work to do; I just do it.

If you don't think God's love for the unlovable is amazing, go try to love someone who hates you for a day. See if that helps.

because if you can’t kill then you are always subject to those who can, and nothing and no one will ever save you.

Have you ever heard of feng shui? (Randy) Yeah. It’s the ‘put the mirror on your door and sleep in the right direction’ bullshit. (Steele)

I am not a driver, I am a racer.