Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

If one attains awareness of own’s own Self’s authority [power], even for a moment, he can become a Parmatma (Absolute Supreme Self).

To serve thy generation this thy fate: "Written in water " swiftly fades thy name But he who loves his kind does first or late A work too great for fame.

Let thy discontents be thy secrets; if the world knows them 'twill despise thee and increase them.

For now is my grief heavier than the sands of the seas, she thought. This world has emptied me of all but the oldest purpose: tomorrow's life.

That's because I'm made of awesome." "And dipped in awesome." "And sprinkled with awesome." "Gods, I love the taste of awesome.

The Passion narratives are the first pieces of the Gospels that were composed as a unity.

Yes, I am sad, sad as a circus-lioness, sad as an eagle without wings, sad as a violin with only one string and that one broken, sad as a woman who is growing old. Sad, sad, sad.

Know the difference between Giant and Jumbo? Between two-ounce and a big two-ounce? Between a quart and a full quart? What's a tall 24-inch? What does Extra Long mean? Who's kidding who?

Everyone is encouraged to see their lives, the world through the eyes of the rich.

Straightforwardness and simplicity are in keeping with goodness.