Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Faded is my heart.... Faded is my dream....Faded they may seem.... Never I scream!

The Lord said unto me, 'I will take my rest and I will consider in my dwelling place like a clear heat upon herbs.

Great fortune and peace of mind seldom live together.

Thou shouldst not decide until thou hast heard what both have to say.

As the music played over the speakers and the waterfall in the pool filled the silence around us, I knew that without a doubt I had just been ruined.

How do I explain a life that has lasted for billions of years? It is almost as if I must start with an apology for being alive when everyone I once knew is dead.

You paint the way you have to in order to give. That's life itself, and someone will look and say it is the product of knowing, but it has nothing to do with knowing, it has to do with giving.

It doesn't bother me at all that some people think I am too outspoken.

Nothing comes without a price.

The truth is always a compound of two half- truths, and you never reach it, because there is always something more to say.