Well, I loved variety in television, I loved sketch comedy. At 'Saturday Night Live,' I stayed almost seven years.

I think free speech is probably the coolest thing we have in this country, and again, you can label it hate speech and dismiss it, and then you're allowed to censor it.

After years of begging, I got my parents to get me a little Craig tape recorder, a reel to reel. Then I started recording voices, or recording Jonathan Winters off television and stuff like that.

If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

It's almost like he's started to sound even more exotic the more people started doing him. I don't know why, but there's just something about Al Gore that makes me laugh.

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.

The human Soul will only find its Light, when the Ego gives its permission.

Humans don't have any type of interest... HAVING SO MUCH STUFF AROUND THEM AND SO LITTLE INTEREST IN THEM.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

Well, intuition isn't much help in police work. Facts are what we need.

Before games, the smell of burgers wafts down from the stands.

I did Brad's first film The Take and I'm glad Brad [Furman] has not calmed down. I don't want him to ever calm down.

Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.

The Tao is told is not the Tao.

The world is split between those who do not sleep because they are hungry and those who do not sleep because they are afraid of those who are hungry.

I realized when I was 23 that I had never really tried anything.