Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.

I'm a grenade, I just want to stay away from people and read books, and think...

I'd like to know that your love Is love I can be sure of.

This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.

I made a fatal error thinking he could save me.

The greatest of all miracles is to be alive.

Let's move forward and fix America's problems.

The arrogance of men never ceases to amaze me. You all think everything has to do with you, and every woman has to desire you.

She was the only woman in the homicide unit, and already there had been problems between her and another detective, charges of sexual harassment, countercharges of unrelenting bitchiness.

Fear is the enemy of curiosity.

I had a lot of growing and a lot of denying of self to do. I am not easily won over, but when I am, I am completely won over.