Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

I'm not dreaming this, am I?" he asked.Dehvi lifted an eyebrow. "There's only one way to know for sure, " he said.What's that?"Go piss in the woods. If you feel wet and warm afterward, wake up.

The path for those who go with the truth is not is not that smooth. Guns, crosses and hangmen in the gallows are waiting for them!

The ties that bind us to life are tougher than you imagine, or than any one can who has not felt how roughly they may be pulled without breaking.

It is never worth while to make rents in a garment for the sake of mending them? Nor to create doubts in order to show how cleverly we can quiet them.

Sometimes I make films about scenes other filmmakers would leave out, so I just make the film out of all the things they wouldn't put in. Poetry allows you to do this more than prose, for example.

When quick results are imperative, the manipulation of the masses through symbols may be the only quick way of having a critical thing done.

Seattle is this curious liberal island.

And they who for their country die shall fill an honored grave, for glory lights the soldier's tomb, and beauty weeps the brave.

Our world is facing a refugee crisis of a magnitude not seen since the Second World War. This presents us with great challenges and many hard decisions.

The teen years are extremely serious and everything matters and every insult really hurts. I know there are cliques and bullying. And you don't yet ­understand that it will all go away.