Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I’m going to tell you something that will make you very happy: your god is the one true god. Just remember, I am telling this to everyone… and I mean it.

Where we see the same faults followed regularly by the same misfortunes, we may reasonably think that if we could have known the first we might have avoided the others.

It was a shallow thing, this acceptance, but sometimes even shallow things feel important.

A considerable share of the world's population still cannot afford comfortable housing, education and quality health care.

The new discovery of a 3.3 billion barrel oil deposit off Norway's coast cements that nation's claim to being Europe's second largest oil producer.

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

Each time we act to improve the life of another person, we send forth a ripple of hope in what appears to be a hopeless society.

The old Lena is dead.

If [you are] over the age of 10, the question isn't whether or not to eat healthy to prevent heart disease, it's whether or not you want to reverse the heart disease you already have.

Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill! You knew, didn’t you? I’m part of you? Close, close, close! I’m the reason why it’s no go? Why things are what they are?