Well first of all, tell me, is there some society you know of that doesn't run on greed? You think Russia doesn't run on greed? You think China doesn't run on greed? What is greed?

A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both.

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand.

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself.

You cannot be sure that you are right unless you understand the arguments against your views better than your opponents do.

The essential notion of a capitalist society ... is voluntary cooperation, voluntary exchange. The essential notion of a socialist society is force.

I am favor of cutting taxes under any circumstances and for any excuse, for any reason, whenever it's possible.

The great advances of civilization, whether in architecture or painting, in science or literature, in industry or agriculture, have never come from centralized government.

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.

You cannot simultaneously have free immigration and a welfare state.

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.

You can surrender without a prayer, but never really pray without surrender. You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win without a fight.

In his life there was only one woman. The other one.

I had mice that I kept as pets when I was very young, and I've always liked the way they look. Even rats. I'm not scared of them.

Though I believe in liberalism, I find it difficult to believe in liberals.

You can not make yourself whole again by brooding one hundred percent of the time on the darkness of the world. We are the light of the world.

They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would have puppets.

Not enough is a spiritual state, not an economic one.

As between the intolerable and the merely distasteful, I must choose the latter.

It's hard, sometimes, when nothing's stopping you, to know what's stopping you.

There is a better way for everything. Find it.