Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

Why poetry, you ask? Because of life, I answer.

In the midst of battle, you need something versatile to keep your focus

I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny.

You're lucky to have a friend who will kill for you." So. I once had a friend who died for me, and now one who killed for me. Why didn't I feel lucky?

You don't need to deteriorate with advancing age.

The world has been busy for some centuries in shutting and locking every door through which a woman could step into wealth, except the door of marriage.

[Norden] said, with the Mark 15 Norden bombsight, he could drop a bomb into a pickle barrel at 20,000 feet.

Latin America and the Caribbean are the happiest on average in the world.

I came to realize this weird projection: you are much more passionate about hating something outside of you when you know that something is also in you.

That which you do not wish for yourself, do not impose on others.