Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

You don't need organized religion to connect with the universe. Often a church is the only place you can go to find peace and quiet... But it shouldn't be confused with connecting with one's spirit.

Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality.

Her skin tasted expensive.

On balance, the financial system subracts value from society

I am tired of women playing action heroes like men, because they are not men. But sometimes they are written like men.

Even if you're independent, I think you get lonely.

Whenever freedom is made into the absolute, the result is not freedom but anarchism. Freedom must be under law, or it is not freedom.

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.

Love is blind, but when we close our eyes, we see with our hearts.

Even vegetables have feelings in our world.