Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

Dream big. Start small. Begin today.

To ensure that children are protected, the abuse and exploitation of children must be brought to light and those who violate children brought to justice.

Porcupine, whom one must Handle, glove'd, May be Respected, but is never Loved.

A good soul like a good body should be as unobtrusive as possible; in so far as it functions properly, it should not be noticed for good or for ill.

If you change the rules on what controls you... you will change the rules on what you can control.

I am a writer, not a transcriber.

If you fall in love with somebody you're working with, fine, but wait till your project is over.

Three-quarters of my family is Irish. Of course, the "Kazee" is not.

If All Men Were Brothers, Would You Let One Marry Your Sister?

If this were the time or the place to uphold a paradox, I am half inclined to state that Norfolk is one of the most beautiful of counties.