Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

The presence or calling of God can be no reasons but the guidance of God because of His glorification.

I'm sure lovely girls such as yourselves need not worry about this"—Madame LaRoche begins, and I have a hunch we're about to be cautioned against something we enjoy

Don't keep forever on the public road, going only where others have gone.

I played volleyball, basketball, softball, and I started to love soccer the most around 7-8 years old because it was a physical game. I could use my speed and strength to my advantage.

I live a dual life. On the red carpet, it's complete glam. But at home, I'm a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. Simple can be beautiful.

If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.

Cruelty must be whitewashed by a moral excuse, and pretense of reluctance.

While there are many problems, if one focuses on the bigger picture there are numerous reasons to be thankful for living in a time of remarkable progress and wonderful possibilities for the future.

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.

Boredom is the beginning of all destruction and everything that is negative.