Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

Don't spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but be anxious to do the will of God.

To the complaint, 'There are no people in these photographs, ' I respond, There are always two people: the photographer and the viewer.

It is while you are patiently toiling at the little tasks of life that the meaning and shape of the great whole of life dawn on you.

I can't hear music. I don't understand it. It's so above and beyond me.

If people want to be better writers, they can't just read the blogs! You've got to look at something that's outside this rushing world of evanescent words.

[Heraclitus] concluded that coming-to-be itself could not be anything evil or unjust.

What is gained by violence must be lost before superior violence.

Not surprisingly, he began to sing, and because no one in the world could hear him, and he sang without inhibition, he sang well.

Sometimes, you gotta believe something crazy. Because all the other things you could believe hurt too much.

Only a good-for-nothing is not interested in his past.