Well you say that it's gospel, But I know that it's only church.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

Women are still cats and birds. Or at the best, cows.

This is what happens when you try to help people. You get screwed.

You'll learn wisdom for yourself, if you have become sedentary.

Great distance in either time or space has wonderful power to lull and render quiescent the human mind.

Picturesqueness is a lost art. We may expect at anytime to hear that a collar ad is blazing its electric lights atop of the largest pyramid.

Corruption never has been compulsory.

His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.

A lottery is the perfect tax...laid only upon the willing.

I'm married to a beautiful and talented woman who can lift your spirits just by looking at you.

People are afraid of what they do not understand.