Were really screwed up, aren't we?" "In a very large way.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Offspring were a joy or a shame, but still the crown of their elders, nature's unpredictable creatures.

I have learned to have more trust in the scientist than he does in himself.

I'm not good at small talk; I'm not good at big talk; and medium talk just doesn't come up.

Just as a child respects his father even when he perceives his weaknesses and faults, so a German will not despise the old Germany which was once a symbol of greatness to him.

Don't be a little paranoid; worry about everything, or let it all go.

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

PRONOIA: The irrational belief that people like you

Non-co-operation enables us to show that in everything that matters we can be independent of the Government.

This editor is a critic. He has pulled out his carving-knife and his tomahawk and is starting after a book which he is going to have for breakfast.

Anyone that has come to America past the age of eighteen will be able to understand when I say that you can never shake your accent.