Were we all one body, we should lose the tremendous stimulation that comes from the present arrangement, and I fear that our uniformity would become the uniformity of death and the tomb.

It is good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good too, to check up once in a while and make sure you haven't lost the things money can't buy.

You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.

Colleges don't make fools, they only develop them.

Every fellow is really two men -- what he is and what he might be; and you're never absolutely sure which you're going to bury till he's dead.

Because a fellow has failed once or twice or a dozen times, you don't want to set him down as a failure till he's dead or loses his courage.

Never ask a man what he knows, but what he can do.

When a fortune comes without calling, it's apt to leave without asking.

What you know is a club for yourself, and what you don't know is a meat-ax for the other fellow.

Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.

Appearances are deceitful, I know, but so long as they are, there's nothing like having them deceive for us instead of against us.

You can do this by disciplining yourself to be selective in what you read, see, hear, say to yourself and the influence of others.

Even baldness becomes a beauty of a hairless head through the heart of acceptance

Love and loneliness, they are both coincidences.

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

If JESUS cannot control you, HE cannot save you. And if HE cannot control ALL of you HE cannot control any of you.

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.

I just want people to remember me like I remember Buster Keaton. When they talk about Buster Keaton or Gene Kelly, people say, 'Ah yes, they good.' Maybe one day, they remember Jackie Chan that way.

Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich.

I never felt ostracized or made to feel strange by obsessing over The Onion or Calvin and Hobbes. That was considered completely normal.