Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

The threat or fear of violence should not become an excuse or justification for restricting freedom of speech.

There's a tangle between weakness and vulnerability.

If I got paid, it was no more than five dollars a column, and I still think I was overpaid.

It's hard for them to run away from their record. The Kochs are businessmen.

For me, running is about freedom. I find that the freer I feel, the faster I am.

Literary education must follow the education of the hand -the one gift that distinguishes man from beast.

Im so lucky to have the opportunity to work with some directors and some actors I wouldnt have dared to think I would work with one day.

As long as I am winning, people shouldn't care whether my skirt is six inches long or 6 feet long.

yet it seems Life scarce can cast a fragrance on the wind, Scarce spread a glory to the morning beams, But the torn petals strew the garden plot; And there's but common greenness after that.

And if any work that I have done should have value beyond my own lifetime, I believe it will be the happy labors of the decade 1869-1878.