What I have been taught, I have forgotten; what I know, I have guessed.

Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.

Espresso is to Italy, what champagne is to France.

A woman will sometimes forgive the man who tries to seduce her, but never the man who misses an opportunity when offered.

Society is divided into two classes: the shearers and the shorn. We should always be with the former against the latter.

Never speak ill of yourself, your friends will always say enough on that subject.

What clever man has ever needed to commit a crime? Crime is the last resort of political half-wits.

Since the masses are always eager to believe something, for their benefit nothing is so easy to arrange as facts.

I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.

The art of putting the right men in the right places is first in the science of government; but that of finding places for the discontented is the most difficult.

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

Minority of people are destined for success while majority succeed because they are determined for success. Where upon, work hard in silence and let success make the noise .

The greatest compliments I’ve ever received were complaints from readers that I made them stay up all night reading.

The most unhappy of all men is he who believes himself to be so.

What is green? The grass is green, With small flowers between. What is violet? Clouds are violet In the summer twilight. What is orange? Why, an orange, Just an orange!

I would love to be on Broadway!

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip

These were people... who built redwood decks on their mobile homes and have no idea that smart-aleck Yankees think that is somehow funny. People of the pines. My people.

Conscience is that peculiar faculty of the soul which may be called the religious instinct.

I try to get the best performance an actor can give.