What I like to do is come in, write the entire program and treat my staff to hot stone massages.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

I think how I've gotten better, hopefully, at taking what I've got and being able to mish-mash something together, and as long as it feels real to me in the moment, then it feels like a success.

I think that band [Glenn Miller] was the beginning of the end. It was a mechanized version of what they called jazz music. I still can't stand to listen to it.

There is no sin so profound, no despondency so low, no misery so abject, but the love of Christ is deeper.

It is the destiny of the theater nearly everywhere and in every period to struggle even when it is flourishing.

President Clinton was able to achieve budget surpluses despite a divided government.

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay.

It's now time to organize and move forward. It's time for deep thinking, reformation of the Democratic Party.

Never surrender to the momentum of mediocrity.

Mamoru, please say it once more. -Usagi Again? But I've said it 50 times! -Mamoru Please? One more time? -Usagi Okay, for the last time. Marry me, Usagi. -Mamoru

I'm not one of those people who write all the time. Sometimes I'll go several months without writing anything. I'll sometimes second guess myself and wonder if I'll ever write another song.