What Strauss is going through drives you nuts. If you care about your batting - which I'm sure he does - he will feel like jumping off a bridge and committing suicide

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The eagle may soar; beavers build dams.

The US has not imposed democracy in Yemen, its people have.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

The government is shutting down the coal industry, they say it's cheaper to draw nuclear power off the French grid and cheaper to buy coal from Colombia.

I will always take your part, Bee. Right or wrong. That is why you must always take care to be right, lest you make your father a fool.

Don't be telling me--can't be done. That's some god damney white talk, that's what that is.

I NEVER QUITNEITHER COPY BY CHITSOMETIMES THINGS SPLITI DON'T UNDERSTAND A BITLIFE HIT N HAS PITSTILL IN LIFE I FITAS A GIFT I ADMIT.

We had made the error of staying small – and there is no more unforgivable crime in America.

Love can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless.

My guitar only has five strings 'cause the top one broke and I decided not to put it back on: when I play chords I only play bar chords, and the top one always used to cut me there.

Economic stimulation that works through the increased outlays to the affluent has, inevitably, an aspect of soundness and sanity that is lacking in expenditure on behalf of the undeserving poor.

I do think, over the last years, a lot of Republicans have decided it's not working, what the party believed in, free trade, global capitalism, open borders.

Come hither, my dear. Come hither, that I mightest protectest thou!

Men deal with life as children with their play, Who first misuse, then cast their toys away.