What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

It's time, my childrenWhen the waves rise high When the waters run deepWhen the clock strikes midnightYou'll feel the mark of Zero HourAnd you'll never be the same again

You might belong in Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart. Their daring nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.

The will of man is his happiness.

For me, success is a state of mind. I feel like success isn’t about conquering something, it’s being happy with who you are.

Here I found those who had set out before me, both by sea and land, except those who have died.

He who practices Tasawwuf without learning Sacred Law corrupts his faith, while he who learns Sacred Law without practicing Tasawwuf corrupts himself. Only he who combines the two proves true.

I could have made a small film and kept all the money from 'Life is Beautiful'. Instead, I spent more money than I had on 'Pinocchio', a very risky film.

Let no man be called happy before his death. Till then, he is not happy, only lucky.

When you come to New York you always get a buzz.

If you don't genuinely like your customers, chances are they won't buy.