What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.

What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?

Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.

I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.

You find your purpose by putting the mind in the service of the heart and not the other way around. (from The Amazing You movie)

It is not about knowing, but about living.

In all my years as an actor, I had never been me - I had always hidden behind my glasses, mustaches and funny voices.

Superficial knowledge breeds arrogance; true knowledge induces humility.

One enemy is too much.

Learn to live more in the Self. Come down a little bit to eat and talk as necessary.

Where love fails we espy all faults.

All art is exorcism. I paint dreams and visions too; the dreams and visions of my time. Painting is the effort to produce order; order in yourself. There is much chaos in me, much chaos in our time.

Fill your heart with the creative power to accept the past, decorate the present and transform the future.

If we live in a world where information drives what we do, the information we get becomes the most important thing. The person who chooses that information has power.