What a fool I would have been to let self-respect interfere with my happiness!

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

The man is always the last to know whenCupid has struck him-Anonymous, Memoirs of a Mistress

If the father cannot, the son will finish the task.

The cost of leadership is self-interest.

I sit where the leaves of the maple and the gnarled and knotted gum are circling and drifting around me.

Sometimes when you're with somebody, and all their stuff is at your house, it's so hard to break up with them. You don't know what they're going to wreck and destroy.

Death persecutes before it executes.

Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.

I've been in movies with Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson - but I was on 'The Simpsons,' and finally, in the eyes of my children, I was a star.

A heart that hurts is a heart that works.

I believe that acting in any medium is the same thing, it's discovering the truth in where you are.