What a terrible round. I only hit two good balls all day and that was when I stepped on a rake in a bunker.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

If I win and get the money, then the Oakland Police department is going to buy a boys' home, me a house, my family a house, and a Stop Police Brutality Center.

But we were all feeling that bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it having been an evening of some small energy expenditure.

As a personal matter I don't give a damn where mosques, churches, temples or other religious shrines and symbols are built as long as they don't tear down decent saloons in the process.

If you ask me, Now, is it your best book? I would say, I don't really know. I wouldn't even want to say. And I'd even go on and say, I don't even think so.

A terrorist can attack any time, any place using any technique and you can't defend everywhere against every technique at every moment.

No change in the balance of political parties can alter the general determination that no class should be excluded from contributing to and sharing responsibility for the state.

Civilization may progress, human nature will remain the same throughout all ages.

Do not be afraid to talk about food. Food which is worth eating is worth discussing. And there is the occult power of words which somehow will develop its qualities.

A harmonized mind produces harmony in this world of seeming discord.

Looking back on my career, I think I've been extremely fortunate to be in the right place at the right time in order to have the influence that I did.