What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head.

All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

Everybody wants ta get inta da act!

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

So now what?” I ask.She is quiet for a long time, long enough that I assume she’s gone to sleep.“I think this is just part of it, ” she says. “Civilisations fall. People keep going.

Industrial civilization is only possible when there's no self-denial. Self-indulgence up to the very limits imposed by hygiene and economics. Otherwise the wheels stop turning.

If you wanted a safe job, go sell shoes. This is a tough business.

I always knew what I thought the theme was, the core, in one word. In 'The Godfather' it was succession. In 'The Conversation' it was privacy. In 'Apocalypse' it was morality.

Pursuit of knowledge under difficulties.

Always remember, with a strong enough will, even the weak can wield great power.

The ones who are successful are the ones who really want it. You have to have that inner drive otherwise it's not going to work out.

It is not shortage of time that should worry us, but the tendency for the majority of time to be spent in low-quality ways.

We Hate William and Kate

If you would force me to be unarmed and helpless I would have to do everything in my power to neutralize you... Peace and love will get you killed. That doesn't sound like a hippie.