What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.

Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.

He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.

It's called 'reading'. It's how people install new software into their brains.

Honey, when you say we can't communicate... what exactly do you mean?

It's important to remember that peace, liberty and freedom changes many aspects in our thoughts as far as life is concerned.

Any cat may stare into a fire and see red mice play,

I am the sun... And the air...

But because many endeavor to get knowledge rather than to live well, they are often deceived and reap little or no benefit from their labor.

I think when you have spent the money that we have, it's bound to bring it's own pressure. The players have shown that they can handle that though. (on Chelsea)

As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.

I've never been keen on open adoption. It doesn't seem to solve the main problem with adoption, which is that somebody feels she was abandoned by someone else.

A society needs famous people; the question is whom it chooses for that role. Any criticism of its choice is by implication a criticism of that society.

Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking.

When a Cat adopts you, and I am not superstitious at all I don't mean only Black cats there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it and wait until the wind changes.