What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The Spirit, and your soul are not the same things. The Spirit is God - the source. Your soul is God's imagination - the subject.

I try not to put messages in my songs. My only message is man's communication with his fellow man. I want to narrow the gap of strangeness and alienation.

If you buy a $28,000 car, in four years it will be worth about 11,000 bucks.

Daisies infinite Uplift in praise their little growing hands, O'er every hill that under heaven expands.

A literary movement: five or six people who live in the same town and hate each other.

I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then I ask myself the same question.

Suarez will improve and he will get better.

It's interesting that Swiss banks also hide their assets from the Swiss by using offshore bank structuring.

I preferred to study those subjects that were of interest to me.

If I'm in london it can be different than if I'm somewhere else.