What harm has he ever done to you?' 'You know what harm he's done me. He offended me with his terrible taste.

The natural state of the football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.

Record stores can't save your life. But they can give you a better one.

It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like.

I suddenly had a little epiphany: all the books we own, both read and unread, are the fullest expression of self we have at our disposal.

I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.

For alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.

It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.

Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.

Radio football is football reduced to its lowest common denominator.

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.

Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I don't say she will but she can.

It's funny how getting older - or being overlooked and underrated for more than two decades - can make you change your ambitions.

In the age of social media and dating apps, so many people are able to hide behind their Instagram page or their Raya page or Facebook.

We are so conceited and so unproud.

We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty.

It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.

You start playing when it's cold and you want to be playing when it's cold again.

I like to write about things about which I have no answers, questions that trouble me. These things trouble me.