What if man were required to educate his children without the help of talking animals.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Truth is beauty

Your assignment is a pre-cursor to someone else’s assignment. In the same breath, someone else’s assignment is a pre-cursor to yours.

Kissing don't last: cookery do.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

Although our interests as citizens vary, each one is an artery to the heart that pumps life through the body politic, and each is important to the health of democracy.

You can judge a country by the way it treats its prisoners, and you can always judge a show by the way it treats people coming on to do these guest shots.

Put a Post-It note on your mirror that says: 'Someone has to succeed. There's no reason why it shouldn't be me.' Repeat before every audition.

In chess it is more important to frustrate your opponent's strategy than to be obsessed with your own.

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

Only a single line is needed to discover who is doing what.