What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

When you feel down and out you must reach up and out--to Spirit! Our strength will only resonate deep within your souls if you open your heart and minds with us.

I edit my own stories to death. They eventually run and hide from me.

The universe evolved from something and nothing, and has most of these elemental dualpair until now.

O fortune fortune! all men call thee fickle.

Whenever anyone accuses some person of being 'unfeeling,' he means that that person is just.

The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.

Give me an Army of West Point graduates and I'll win a battle... Give me a handful of Texas Aggies and I'll win a war.

Be infinitely flexible and constantly amazed.

Donald Trump proved that he understood America in the way that those who say they're informing America simply did not.

God delights in our temptations and yet hates them. He delights in them when they drive us to prayer; he hates them when they drive us to despair.