What is a bore? Maxwell definition: a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. How do you spot one? Bores are always anxious to be seen talking to you.

Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.

Nothing spoils a good party like a genius.

Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking.

The cocktail party is easily the worst invention since castor oil

Serve the dinner backward, do anything - but for goodness sake, do something weird.

I make enemies deliberately. They are the sauce piquante to my dish of life.

Someone has said that life itself is a party: you join after it's started and you leave before it's finished.

Keep your talent in the dark and you'll never be insulted.

Good manners - the longer I live the more convinced I am of it - are a priceless insurance against failure and loneliness. And anyone can have them.

Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores.

What doesn't kill you makes you CRAZY, GRUMPY, MAD AS EVER? NO it makes you STRONGER! Yep, you'll get there eventually!

The discoveries of my life that were of greatest significance (1) When I discovered love, (2) When I discovered faith and (3) When I discovered one cannot be without the other.

I call the right axe Sorrow, " she said. "You know what I call the left one?" "Happiness?" "Sorrow. I can't tell them apart.

I'd love to go back to space, I don't know any astronaut who doesn't want to.

My most romantic job: I was a manager at Baskin-Robbins.

Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people's minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.

My father was a professor of civil engineering at MIT, and my mother taught high school English.

The ball is like a woman, she loves to be caressed.

As much as I loved [Al] Pacino and [Robert] De Niro and wanted to be a dramatic actor, I also grew up on sitcoms.

As an individual, I take every match seriously, no matter who I'm going to play.