What is all wisdom save a collection of platitudes? But the man who orders his life according to their teachings cannot go far wrong.

Distrust of authority should be the first civic duty.

To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him...two.

A man who is stingy with saffron is capable of seducing his own grandmother.

A man can believe a considerable deal of rubbish, and yet go about his daily work in a rational and cheerful manner.

He talks about the Scylla of Atheism and the Charybdis of Christianity - a state of mind which, by the way, is not conducive to bold navigation.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

If you want to see what children can do, you must stop giving them things.

Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.

Bouillabaisse is only good because cooked by the French, who, if they cared to try, could produce an excellent and nutritious substitute out of cigar stumps and empty matchboxes.

Why always "not yet"? Do flowers in spring say "not yet"?

The problems with lies is they start to pile up, one on top of another, until it's hard to find your way out from under the heap.

I will preach with my brush.

I'm trying to practice owning less stuff.

You know, the fashion business is this legendary repository of young girls on their way to getting husbands. I really wanted to work.

The prettiest of them all is a girl who is pretty on the inside.

Exaggeration of every kind is as essential to journalism as it is to dramatic art, for the object of journalism is to make events go as far as possible.

I don’t really mean what I’m saying.

But by the time that I had nothing left, I myself was the lightest thing of all for fate to get rid of.

My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.

The bicameral mind with its controlling gods was evolved as a final stage of the evolution of language. And in this development lies the origin of civilization.