What is dollar value but something to amuse people who have no imagination? People who have money and no imagination follow fashion. People who have imagination and no money fashion styles.

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

When you're rich, 'crazy' is just 'eccentric'.

Entertainment's definition has been reduced to making people happy.

Those who deny the first principle should be flogged or burned until they admit that it is not the same thing to be burned and not burned, or whipped and not whipped.

I've now been in 57 states. I think one left to go.

The dance of the palm trees, the oceans calling, the first rays of sun and heaven is here.

I don't know where my father is from. I just don't. He's lived in so many countries.

College football today is one of the last great strongholds of genuine old-fashioned American hypocrisy.

Amiability is very often a weakness, but the most unobjectionable one as a rule.

I know it's hard to let go of people that have been with you forever. Sometimes it's time to call it a day.