What is freedom, in the end, but that no one cares any longer to try to restrain us?

When we learn to TOLERATE boredom, we find out who we really are.

Our body is there right now. You did not have to earn a thing. It is a gift. You are a hero every time you step out of your front door to do some exercise.

One of them says, 'Why did they do it?'And the other answers, 'Because they could.'That is the only answer there ever is.

Gender is a shell game. What is a man? Whatever a woman isn't. What is a woman? Whatever a man is not, Tap on it and it's hollow. Look under the shells: it's not there.

If you feel like a weirdo, it's okay because weirdos rule the world.

If I can lead a happy life, touch the lives of others in a positive way, win the respect of those that I care about... and make a few million along the way, then I have been successful.

She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table.

We walk by faith. We don't stay still, drowning in our misery.

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

Love's chemistry thrives best in equal heat.

Zen is influenced by Daoism, which is not so much a nature-religion in the animistic sense as a nature-philosophy in a cosmic sense.

Men always seem to refuse to admit they are sick until they're sick enough to make twice as much work for women. Then they claim they're well too soon, with the same result.

Problem talk creates problems, Solution talk creates solutions.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!