What makes Existence really nice Is Virtue--with a dash of Vice.

Send me the half that's got my keys.

Virtue its own reward? Alas! And what a poor one as a rule! Be virtuous and life will pass Like one long term of Sunday School.

Guten Morgen, mon ami!Heute ist es schönes Wetter!Charmé de vous voir ici!Never saw you looking better!

We should all learn to take things easily - other people's things.

Aunt Jane observed, the second time She tumbled off a bus, 'The step is short from the Sublime To the Ridiculous.

Weep not for little Leonie, abducted by a French Marquis. Though loss of honor was a wrench, just think how it's improved her French.

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes, Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes; Now, although the room grows chilly, I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

O'er the rugged mountain's brow Clara threw the twins she nursed, And remarked,'I wonder now Which will reach the bottom first?

I used to think that divorce meant failure, but now I see it more as a step along the path of self-realization and growth.

The less you talk, the more you're listened to.

We knew that there was a certain kind of interest in Whale among a genre crowd.

I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

That's America, competition.

When a man talks with absolute sincerity and freedom he goes on a voyage of discovery. The whole company has shares in the enterprise.

To acquire and preserve the virtue of chastity, we have need of a good and experienced confessor.

Pain is what I feed from when nothing else will nourish the noxious fury in my heart. It’s what I cling to when everything else—everyone else—slips right between my grasping fingers.

Whatever instrument I play, I always try to keep it unreal.

Is it not enough that 'things are cruel and blind'? Must we also be cruel and blind?