What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult

A sword by itself does not slay; it is merely the weapon used by the slayer.

The important thing about a problem is not its solution, but the strength we gain in finding the solution

Don't stumble over something behind you.

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.

We become wiser by adversity; prosperity destroys our appreciation of the right.

Great men rejoice in adversity, just as brave soldiers triumph in war.

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.

There in no one more unfortunate than the man who has never been unfortunate. for it has never been in his power to try himself.

Every day we're one day closer to death. But there's no reason to rush into it.

My father was always slightly bemused by my success. Although he knew that I had reasonable intelligence, he always thought that I was a little bit lazy.

The first rule for escaping prison in the United States is always having someone more important than yourself to incriminate.

An Episcopalian divine once told the Pope that the only difference between their denominations was that "the Church of Rome is infallible and the Church of England is never in the wrong."

European languages must not be considered diamonds displayed under a glass ball, dazzling us with their brilliance.

I've protected my protracted period of infancy. For many years. And I have no desire to become an adult.

I don't wake up drenched in sweat because I haven't been on stage in years.

As a writer, I know that - you write a first draft and then put it in a drawer. The longer I can put it in a drawer, the better off I am. So I structure my writing so that things can sit.

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

I wish I was as cocksure of anything as Tom Macaulay is of everything.